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The
2007 Darwin Awards Yes, it's that magical
time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honouring
the least evolved among us. Here is the glorious
winner: 1. When his 38-caliber
revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in
Long Beach ,
California , would-be
robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder. He
peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it
worked. And now, the honourable
mentions: 2. The chef at a hotel
in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting machine and, after a little
shopping around, submitted claim to his insurance company. The
company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look
for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a
finger. The chef's claim was
approved.
3. A man who shovelled
snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in
Chicago returned with his vehicle
to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot
her.
4. After stopping for
drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20
mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting
to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies. The
deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
5. An American teenager
was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received
from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the
lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could
get his head to a moving train before he was
hit.
6. A man walked into a
Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for
change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun
and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly
provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the
$20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the
drawer...$15.
7. Seems an Arkansas guy
wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a
cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at
the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the
would-be thief on the head,
knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of
Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on
videotape.
8. As a female shopper
exited a New
York convenience store, a man grabbed her
purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was
able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within
minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the
car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the
car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied,
"Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse
from."
9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man
walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun,
and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he
couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man
ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for
breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked
away.
(*A
5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER)
10. When a man attempted
to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle
street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at
the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home
near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted
to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the
motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle
declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd
ever had.
Remember .... they walk
among us!
*******
Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know
the batteries are dead?
Why do banks charge
a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not
enough?
Live webcam's located throughout
Valencia: Here
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four
billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word
"lisp"?
Go on a treasure
hunt: Here
If people evolved from apes, why are there still
apes?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use
the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on
sale?
Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with
hopes that something new to eat will have
materialized?
Do you like jigsaw's? Well this is
for you (All Free): Here
Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times
with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum one more
chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you
first try?
The Random
Nonsense Generator: Here
How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light
fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and someone rams our ankle
with a shopping cart then apologizes for doing so, why do we say,
"It's all right?" Well, it isn't all right so why don't we say,
"That hurt, you stupid idiot?"
Brain teaser
central: Here
Why is it that
whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table
you always manage to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it
was in summer when we complained about the heat?
CAN AND CAN OPENER A metal can (or
canister) for preserving food was invented in 1810 by a Peter Durand, of London,
England. Metal cans (also called tins) could preserve food for a
long period of time. To open a can, a person had to use a hammer and
chisel; the can opener wasn't invented for another 50
years! For lots of other amazing
invention stories:Click
Here
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